How to Deal with Past Pains

Photo courtesy of Sister Rose of Glistening in the Grass

Do you like everything in your past? Are there things in your past that you do not want to look into again or happen again? Was it so painful that just the thought of it gives you enormous pain like your heart is being pierced with a lance?

All of us go through pain. And the good news is no one is exempt.

It may be the pain brought by other people in your lives. You might have been given up by your parents as a child. Or you came from a broken home. Or you have absentee parents. Or you have been beaten up or molested as a child.

 But it may also be the other way around - being the one inflicting pain to people, especially people you love. And the guilt and shame brought by it is painful. And you realize that too late.

You want to move on with your life and forget all about it. But you can’t forget about it because you have a memory. There's no escaping the past. But you’ve got a choice and the best choice you’ve got is to deal with it.

Now, how to deal with past pains. This is no guarantee though that you will feel no pain anymore. But I guarantee that if you apply the following steps, you will feel inner peace like you have never felt before. It worked for me. It can work for you also.

1. Forgive those who have wronged you.

Someone said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person dies. It actually does more damage to us than it does to the other person. This is especially true if you are holding grudges in your heart. If you are the kind that hold grudges, stop drinking that poison. Open up your heart for forgiveness. Pray for the other person. And slowly, little by little, you will open up yourself for the chance of forgiveness. And one day, you will be free. Let the lance that pierce your heart touch base to the poison that might be killing you inside. And let the poison ooze out like blood.

2. Forgive Yourself

Here’s another good news. No one is exempt from human weaknesses. All of us sin. All of us fail. Guilt and shame is the natural consequence of sin. And to compensate, one might have the tendency to punish himself.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Stop punishing yourself. Learn how to be humble enough to ask for forgiveness. Let go of that invisible whip that you use to flog yourself and allow yourself to be happy. Ask God for forgiveness. If you are a Catholic, turn to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and free yourself from that burden.

3. Let God Heal You

God saw you when you were hurt. Abandoned. Offended. Neglected. Miserable. Dejected. Wretched.
God understands you more than anyone in this world. Go to Him. Turn to Him because healing is in His hands. And His love is unconditional. He still loves you no matter what.