I'm Sorry :'(

Father, Forgive them for they know not what they do. This is the first of the Seven Last Words of Jesus before He died on the cross. In relation to this, I’d like to relate my personal experience on the Holy Week.

After the mass of the Lord’s Supper last Thursday, I went to the confessional to approach the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Because there was a long line of penitents, I was able to think and reflect. As I waited for my turn, my thoughts went back two years ago – the time when I again went to the Sacrament after ten long years.

2 Years Ago...

I was accompanied by a new found friend to the chapel where I approached the priest in the confessional. I was scared to go but I went anyway.

I so longed planned to go to confession that time but for some reasons, I was not able to go. Perhaps I didn’t know where to start. It was then that I met this friend whom I believe God sent as an instrument to help me.

It was timely because at that time, I was carrying something heavy in my heart. It was the effect of sin. I was guilty and ashamed and I had low self worth.

Guilt causes shame. Shame is bad for the confidence. Shame is bad for self-image.

Photo credit

When it was my time to go, I inhaled deeply and entered the confessional. I told the priest everything. After which, I was liberated. I was not condemned by the priest. Instead, I was forgiven. He was compassionate.

That brings me to the event in the bible when the Pharisees and the teachers of the law brought an adulterous woman to Jesus. Jesus did not condemn the woman, rather, He showed compassion. It was the start of her conversion. Somehow, I felt like the adulterous woman in the bible. I knew that my conversion started after that confession one faithful evening.

I also felt like the Prodigal Son who, after squandering his father’s wealth and realizing his mistakes, went back to the father. He expected to be rebuked and condemned but he was not. Instead, he was welcomed by his father with open arms.

That’s what Divine Filiation is to me. That’s what I meant in my last post entitled Moving Forward. Because of His grace and great mercy, I was able to go back to Him. My past sins were forgiven. All my guilt and shame were washed away. I regained my confidence. Suddenly, the world is bright and my future is bright. I no longer dwelt in low self worth. All because I know that I am a daughter of God.

He loved me first. As a result, I loved Him back.



I'm adding this post to Sunday Snippets