Monday, June 11, 2012

How to Deal with Past Pains

Photo courtesy of Sister Rose of Glistening in the Grass

Do you like everything in your past? Are there things in your past that you do not want to look into again or happen again? Was it so painful that just the thought of it gives you enormous pain like your heart is being pierced with a lance?

All of us go through pain. And the good news is no one is exempt.

It may be the pain brought by other people in your lives. You might have been given up by your parents as a child. Or you came from a broken home. Or you have absentee parents. Or you have been beaten up or molested as a child.

 But it may also be the other way around - being the one inflicting pain to people, especially people you love. And the guilt and shame brought by it is painful. And you realize that too late.

You want to move on with your life and forget all about it. But you can’t forget about it because you have a memory. There's no escaping the past. But you’ve got a choice and the best choice you’ve got is to deal with it.

Now, how to deal with past pains. This is no guarantee though that you will feel no pain anymore. But I guarantee that if you apply the following steps, you will feel inner peace like you have never felt before. It worked for me. It can work for you also.

1. Forgive those who have wronged you.
Someone said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person dies. It actually does more damage to us than it does to the other person. This is especially true if you are holding grudges in your heart. If you are the kind that hold grudges, stop drinking that poison. Open up your heart for forgiveness. Pray for the other person. And slowly, little by little, you will open up yourself for the chance of forgiveness. And one day, you will be free. Let the lance that pierce your heart touch base to the poison that might be killing you inside. And let the poison ooze out like blood.

2. Forgive Yourself
Here’s another good news. No one is exempt from human weaknesses. All of us sin. All of us fail. Guilt and shame is the natural consequence of sin. And to compensate, one might have the tendency to punish himself.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Stop punishing yourself. Learn how to be humble enough to ask for forgiveness. Let go of that invisible whip that you use to flog yourself and allow yourself to be happy. Ask God for forgiveness. If you are a Catholic, turn to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and free yourself from that burden.

3. Let God Heal You
God saw you when you were hurt. Abandoned. Offended. Neglected. Miserable. Dejected. Wretched.
God understands you more than anyone in this world. Go to Him. Turn to Him because healing is in His hands. And His love is unconditional. He still loves you no matter what.


  1. Of course youll not get mad cause you dont have any reason to be mad. Youll not supposed to fight with me kasi you dont also have the reason to fight with me. Im not doing anything to you. Funny now you called it our friendship and not our friendship with quote unquote which for me implies a sarcastic meaning.Before you ask me those questions, can you please ask yourself first if what gelo is doing is also trying to save our "FRIENDSHIP"? What is it then? Cause it really seems to me that what he's doing is dumping me like his SLUT. How will i try to save and fix this so-called "FRIENDSHIP" if it does not exist in my bestfriend? It takes two to tango. All what hes been doing is like someones else deeds to a slut..You both think that im not HIS slut? His actions just doesnt show it. Fixing  himself, "embracing change" on his own instead we do it together as friends,  while walking away from me the moment he knew na hindi ako buntis sakanya at wala na siyang pananagutan sakin is TREATING ME LIKE HIS SLUT and not a FRIEND. He only made sure that we do the test para mawalan na siya ng problema and get rid of me just like a SLUT. am i right?Those post, what i am now, what ive been doing sending all those pics is just a result of his doings to you think i will do all of those if i dont feel like he sees me only as his slut all this time?I still have a lot of pictures here. Should i post it? even if you block or whatever, there is always a way if id like to.. same as if gelo would like to save and try to fix our "FRIENDSHIP" which i supposed there is right? Cause you told me that im not his slut. There should always be a way.. not a way wherein he'll just dump me just like his SLUT. A friend care, a test driver do not. And sad to say, he is a test driver to me cause he doesnt care..Until now hindi pa din ako dinadatnan, does he care? Na baka may sakit na ko sa pinagagawa namin before? no, not anymore kasi hes sure now na hindi ako buntis sakanya..because for him im just HIS that  a way on how to treat someone a FRIEND, a BESTFRIEND? hindi db? Gawain yun ng isang lalaking ang turing sa babaeng kinantot niya ay pokpok niya db?With regards to your question, i just think its so inappropriate to ask me those things..just because we fight as bestfriends doesnt mean that puro lang kantutan sa kama ng pinagsamahan namin.. asking me those questions makes me wonder kung lahat ba ng ginawa namin para sa isat isa all these years ay totoo or sadyang naggamitan lang kami.. i remember he once told me, that even we fight, were still here cause we love each other, that those will just makes us stronger. He always told me that on my birthday christmas new year. And now your telling me that he told you na what is it na meron sa friendship namin if it is not only sex? What is it that merit him to still walk away? Maybe because all these years he sees me only his SLUT.right?

  2. Sorry.. this is how i deal with past pain especially if it is your boyfriend doings to his bestfriend who he treated her like his slut kahit kayo na :'( and now finally get rid of me because he never treated me his BESTFRIEND all this time but his SLUT. :'(

  3. Yang boyfriend mo na bestfriend ko, ginamit lang ako :(( ginamit niya lang ako para sa pangangailangan niya :(( ang duwag duwag pa :(( ni hindi niya kayang sabihin sakin ng harap harapan ang ginawa niya sakin para mabigyan niya ko ng katahimikan!!!! :((


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